In a few short weeks, many of us will be sitting down together around the dinner table, to celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanza. These dinners re-enforce a sense of shared family values, a feeling that all is right with the world as long as we can be together at holiday time.

But the truth is, all may not be in order at the holiday table. There will be some empty chairs and laps this year, that were filled last year with our beloved pets who have died and gone on to their next journey. We will look around and our hearts will feel so empty. Last year they were here with us, this year they are not. What shall we do? How can we celebrate without them?

The principle that we should keep in mind is: they may not be here any more, but they are still here. Yes, we buried them or cremated them, but that was only their bodily remains. What made them so beloved to us, namely their soul, remains to comfort and support us in our own lives.

Death is like a one-two punch: the first punch, they died. The second punch, they are not coming back. That is often the harder punch to accept. If Doggie died, it’s not just that he isn’t here any more, it’s that our “special loving friend,” isn’t here any more.

Who will take Kitty’s place now? Who will run up hug us and lick our hand, and comfort us when we need comforting? To whom can we tell all our secrets that no one else wants to hear?

Here is a suggestion:

Even before your opening prayer, have a brief round-table conversation. Ask each one present: What do you miss most about …?

Tears are good, laughter is better. Tell your favorite story, let your mind wander back to your joyful memories.

This memory-making will help keep memory alive, even after your beloved pet has died.

And even more, your family and children will hear your lovingkindness and memories about your pet, and when your time comes, they will know what to do, and how you should be remembered.

Now isn’t that worth a festive meal?